How things could be brighter.

Okay. I am going to try this again. To write (or type) something.
Honestly, I have loads of ideas and stuff on my mind which i would love to pour out but i find that putting it down in pen (or typing in down) is rather difficult for me. Maybe it's just because it's not my way of expressing it? Another reasons is I am afraid I am being judged by my writing. But i guess i can't avoid that. People have different views, ideas and perspectives. For example, Robbin Hood steals from the rich to give to the poor. To some people, he's a thief a criminal. While there are others who thinks he's a hero.
You just can't please everyone.

So just be who you are.

Because of Love

Guitar caused my fingers skin peeling.
Volleyball caused bruises on my arms.

But i don't mind. All because i love them.


Jesus got whipped, flogged and crucified.
He did it because he LOVES us.

I will survive!

Exam week.

Picture speaks a thousand words.

However this one spoke 982 words. Not exactly a thousand but at least it is close right?

Anyway if you have no idea what crap i am posting this time maybe i should explain briefly before you read the content.

Basically, My college had a photo exhibition and my most beloved lecturer decided that it would be fun if his students have a conversation with the pictures in the exhibition and then come up with a 800 words essay about the picture which speaks to you. So here is my essay about a picture of a dock and the sea. ps. sorry my england not so powderful yet so please mind my grammar... >.<''

It was soon my turn to take the stage as another contestant bow and bid the judges thanks and apologies for the mistakes made during his speech. The whole time I found myself asking in my mind “What am I doing here?” and then a little voice in my head would reply and tease me “To lose and to embarrass yourself in this competition.” I clenched my fist tightly as the contestant make his way from the stage to the bottom of the stairs. I was shaking nervously as they called another contestant up the stage to present his speech and very soon it will be my turn to take the stage. “Why did I even bother to join a public speaking competition when I can’t even speak without ever feeling nervous in front of a small crowd?”, I found myself asking. I played with my fingers as the speaker gave his brilliant speech. Every point and fact seemed to be so wise and every word that came out of his mouth are so intelligent. So many things went on in my mind as one contestant after another seem to be giving really intelligent speeches so confidently and as that happens I got more and more intimidated.

The whole time I kept thinking of how I would perform and I kept worrying whether I would get a nervous breakdown as I was in the middle of my speech. I quickly look up and away from my fingers and the speaker on stage to look for something to distract myself before I get a nervous breakdown even before I hit the stage. I look around and I saw my English teacher as she gave me a thumbs up as and her lips moved saying “you can do it!”. Instead of responding her with a smile I quickly look away from her. She is responsible for all these, insisting that I represent my class to a public speaking competition and kept telling me that my speech will definitely be the best when other contestants seemed to be doing a trillion times better than me. When I was still in the middle of cursing my teacher for practically forcing me into this competition the next thing I heard was applause and the emcee stood up to speak. “Thank you to our contestant number 21 for his amazing speech. Now we would like to invite contestant number 22, Pauline Tan from class 5 Meranti to present her speech entitled…”.Everything else was a blur, the next thing I remember was that I got out of my seat a took a few steps forward towards to stage but then quickly change my direction and headed towards the exit. I went as far as possible from my school hall where the public speaking competition was held. I continued walking until I was unable to hear the blaring speaker of the emcee calling out my name.

That was two years ago when fear has caused me to run out of my school hall to avoid speaking to the public.Thinking of it now just makes me blush with embarrassment. My cowardly act of running away when I could have just tried. I still remember that day when I sat on my seat waiting for my turn to arrive to present my speech I desperately wished to be back to my class at the comfort of my own seat instead of having to be a nervous wreck in my school hall. I admit that I have stage frights and that running away seemed to be a good solution to calming my nerves. Now I felt rather ashamed of what I had done and there’s this feeling of regret where I thought I could have just tried even if I gave a horrible speech and turned out to be the worst contestant of the day but at least I could say that I tried. Then my English teacher would have come up to me and pat me on my shoulder and say that I did okay or well done instead of being disappointed that all her effort of encouraging me and helping me prepare for the competition gone a waste.

The fact that I rather stay on the fishermen’s dock and to catch a few fish with a fishing rod than to sail out to the sea where I could catch hundreds with a fishing net. All it takes is a little effort to build a boat and get out into the sea out of my comfort zone but because I was afraid and I chose to run, to stay on the fishermen’s dock where everything seems to be safe. It is fear that stopped me from doing anything, my teacher had help me build a boat and ensure that I was ready to sail but when look out to the sea I was unsure of what I would face and fear made me stay where I am placed, my comfort zone. Now if I could rewind time I would stepped into the boat and sail into the sea no matter if I would catch a huge amount of fish or come back empty handed at least I took the first step to facing my fears. Albert Einstein said that time travelling is possible but unfortunately he didn’t manage to invent a time machine before he was 6 feet under.

In the end, I took it as a lesson and I am happy to say that I am braver now at getting out of my comfort zone and do something different or challenging. Thought at times I would feel afraid and at times the little voice in my head would tease me and tell me that i couldn’t do it but thinking of what happened two years ago actually motivates me for I don’t want to end up regretting that I didn’t try.

I am a really bad girl...

Ohhhh YES!

I feel bad!

really BAD as in acting bad not as in feeling feeling bad ya know???!

The fact that i have exams next week and i am still here BLOGGING!

haha! what did you think i did?

Rob a bank? x)

Anyway, there is really nothing much to post...

Unless you really want to hear about my life...
My life's been... well... let's just say it hasn't been going great but it's getting better :)

Thinking of ways to improve myself and i got 101 things on my list now.

1. Get a new haircut

2. Take picture of me if haircut is fine and if not cry and wait for hair to grow back
3.buy a guitar

4. Go mall look for guitar

5. learn how to play guitar

6. practice guitar

7. ...

Okay... maybe i exaggerated about my list being 101 things long but i guess it is better to take things one step at a time?

Getting a haircut sounds like an ordinary everyday thing but whenever it comes to hair cuts i always tend to get nervous. The thought of the hair stylist screwing up your hair and had to live with it until it grows back. *shivers* That's why i always stick to the same usual hair cut to avoid anything UNFORTUNATE! However, a certain someone actually made me think. After hearing complains of how my hair had always been the same and so boring i just thought maybe it is time to change? At least do something with it while i still had the chance?
Yea man! next thing you know i gotz a Mohawk! XD
hehe! kidding!
But seriously i will get a haircut.

soon.

About the guitar...
I have been wanting to pick up that instrument for ages. Well i guess now it's time to take actions?

Well. I think i would just keep this post short.
wait for the results okay?
well, slowly wait.

:)

Walking barefoot.

Life is like walking barefoot on a path which had a different surface. At one part of the road there are grass that comfort your feet and sometimes gives you laughter as the soft grass tickles your sole. At another you just have to get across painful rocks and sometimes even step on broken glass to get on with your journey.

Then just one day you came and took my hand. That was the time

where the path i was walking on grew abundant soft grass and flowers along the side. I look forward to the feel of each and every step as my feet land upon the delicate soft grass. Each time i breath i would smell a sweet scent of flowers in the air.

My journey became much lighter as well as brighter. You would walk with me no matter it's on grass or on broken glass. You were there to walk with me and sometimes to carry me. The times you gave me assurance that you will walk with me till the very end faded when you left me walking on glass alone. Confused i fell down as the glass cuts my flesh. I waited for you to pick me up but you didn't come back. Slowly i crawled with a heart still hoping that you would come back and help me up and out of this pain.

Glass cut deeply into my skin I cried, prayed, hope... But you didn't come back. With all my heart and effort i got up, my knees bled and was wounded by the broken glass. I push myself to walk forward, to move on. Each step was painful as my feet presses into broken glass. Tears rolled down my cheeks as the glass enters my flesh but i continued till the point where my feet was numb by pain.

I continued to walk until there were no more glass at my sight. It has all cleared up by friends who passed by. I look at my scared knees. They are no longer bleeding and the wounds are healing. The pain has lessened but the scars still bothers me. Time helped me by healing my wounded feet slowly but it wouldn't remove the scars no matter how much i beg or do.

The scars remained.

Turning away from the closed door.

18 years has passed. Way too quickly and so

metimes i feel that i really couldn't keep up with time. I had LIVED for 18 years! To be honest i feel really lucky for many people in this world didn't even get the chance live this many years. Though not all my years are like a cozy bed of roses, not every path i took lead to a happy ending but i thank God for giving me the chance to go through it. My 18 years are filled with joy,sadness and all types of other emotions. Days where I feel that I am on top of the world and days which I wish that the world would just crumble to its core

. Truly, it was one heck of a good experience.

Half of 2011 has passed and soon it will be gone and be replaced by 2012. Things are really different now. Things had changed. From friends to personality to fashion sense to the place you live to... etc Honestly, this year hasn't been very good for me. Change occurred one too many at a time. Sometimes i find myself unable to cope.

Lord, where are you leading me?

Being alive for 18 years. I am sure God brought me to this world for a reason. I just wish i knew what are his plans for me. Sometimes i thought about my uncertain future. I am not even sure what i want to do as a career.

I guess i just have to try harder to place my complete trust in the Lord.

Lord, you had blessed me, protected me, lead me through this 18 years. Sometimes i did not listen to you and i strayed away. I made mistakes and you forgave me.

I really don't know how else to thank you.

Two double rainbow days in a row! :D

If 2012 really come true...

What will be the things you'll regret not doing?


I am going to try to live everyday like it is my last day appropriately. Do good things that makes me happy. Just in case it all really ends and i would regret that i didn't even try...

Inspired by Nickelback- If today was your last day.

Unable to embed the song from YouTube so here's the link to it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrXIQQ8PeRs

Here is also the wonderful lyrics to the song. :)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love
if today was your last day?

A nice day to be a fan :)

Do your best Sean! The AWESOME believes in you! :)

Sincerely,
your no. 1# fan.
PAULINE! :D
NOT ESTHER!

Master Chef in my college.

The winner of Masterchef Malaysia is maybe or even probably wondering in my college right now. However we still don't know who he or she might be.

Registration for the Auditions :)

Participants in the hall :)

off to study~

A post to AWESOMEness

Most of you all had already done this on FB notes. Thank you for all the wonderful things said.

So i think it's about time for me to do the writing and not the reading... :)
I left PLKN on the 13th March and today is already the 16th of May.
59 days didn't sing Khidmat Negara song with you all :(
Miss you guys so so much... ;(

Anyway, here is a post to all of you who made my life in PLKN so awesome :) There's so many of you all so truly i don't know where to start so i think I'll just follow the "dari kanan nombor" chart and also extra few others who are not in the pic but had made my life awesome :)The AWESOME gang exist because we made each other awesome... :)

1. Bryan Foo
Brother, I can't really recall how we actually met. But all I remember is that you have been like a Big brother to me in PLKN. Though not throughout the whole PLKN period but thanks for being there for me and how i thank God that he let me meet a person like you :) How you had cared and prayed for me during the time when i was unwell and sick. I still remember the time when we haven't really knew each other. I was walking back to my dorm from the medic when i bumped into you. During that time I don't even know your name but you came up to me and ask whether if i am okay and told me that you have been praying for me had really touched me. I also know that you care a lot for your other sisters as well. :) Though we haven't really keep in touch lately due to our hectic college life i want you to know that you will never leave my memories and i hope that we can go hangout again sometimes :) On your 18th birthday if you're free must call me out yeah!! Then maybe we can go drink beer together once you're legal... ^^ In the meantime keep up the semangat Alpha! :D

2. Wai Heng
Cutecute/ Doraemon! ^^ The very cute awesome girl from Cameron highlands! :) Everytime i see you the first thing that always appear in my mind is "SO CUTE, MUST PINCH HER CHEEKS". Seriously, you have the cutest cheeks ever so pinky and adorable!
Most of my memories with you is i can say 97% sampat wan... Haha.. That one of the reasons why i like hanging out with you... cause we can sampat all we want and nobody can stop us from sampat-ing because nobody dared to! x) Still remember the times when i was always one of the last to leave the canteen you and the other bravo girls will wait for me to finish my food then walk back to dorm together. Just want to tell you that I always feel really touched because when you guys already finish your food and usually i would ask you guys to go first and dun wait for me but you guys did not hesitate and said that it was okay and that you would wait for me ;) In the end i just wanna give you and the other bravo girls a big big hug!!! ;)

3. Kelly
The really blur girl who is always the last to know of my presence. Or maybe even my existence... x) haha... Our memories together is not alot... But i am really happy to have met you in PLKN :) All i know about you is that you have a really cute personality and you like "Mr J" and i always like to tease and take stalker pictures of you and him together. Anyway i also want to thank you that you also stayed back and waited for me in the canteen with the rest of your bravo group :) I hope that you would continue to be cute and i hope we can meet again in the future and have more memories with you :)

4. Bobo
The Alpha girl of P2. You are a really nice girl. But really quiet wan lor... okay maybe not really thaaaat quiet but you dun really sampat much. Maybe cause you're really mature and you have no time for nonsense like being sampat. You are also the make up guru! I remember the last night of PLKN everyone was going up to you to get their make ups done :) However didn't get a chance to get make up session from you due to no time but i hope that i will receive one in the future! :D

5. Pau
No description. Go to Dim Sum shop.

6. Amelia
The very happy girl in PLKN. To tell you the truth, the first time I saw you i thought you were crazy. I am sure most of us are forced to go NS and are very unhappy about it at first... For for you it was a happy thing from start till finish. Then after i get to know you better then only i found out about your special personality is that you are happy almost all the time. You are a really cheerful girl that can just bring smiles on everyone's face and i also can see your semangat burn for bravo! I still remember when you told me about how your parents are really protective and won't really let you go out so during our last outing i was happy that you could come out and hang with us! I dunno about the other but with your presence it has made the outing a whole lot more cheerful and special and i hope we can still hang out again in the future. :)

7. Esther
My darling Esther.... I got so many things to say about you. Lets start from the very beginning on how we met :) I can't really remember exactly But i know that SK was there and BOOM you just suddenly appear out of nowhere and we became friends! :D Lol. I think thats how it went... ^^ You girl can win the Most Outstanding Sampat Person Award. I think i already told you this like a lot of times already... haha... but nevermind.. i just want to remind you of how sampat you are ^^ I also remember the times when you and Cheryl would come and visit SK in our dorm then sometimes i would come and join your gossip girl session.
I miss playing badminton with you. Especially when you team up with SK. Together you guys can really do impossible things like making me laugh till i roll on the floor. We should do it again, whenever we're free it'll be nice if just me, you, cheryl and SK get together and just play badminton. And this time we don't have to rush out of baris just so we can get the racquets!
Just writing this is making me miss NS life so so much! So i hope that we could hang out more next time! In the mean time hope to continue to keep in touch with you on FB and hopefully our dream trip to Cameron will come true! Will look forward to it! :) In the meantime i will just keep missing you... ;)

8. Ye Ching
The small but tough ketua dorm of P8. First time meeting you is on the very first time we set foot in Kem Geo Kosmo. We were standing in line and registering our selfs. You were just standing right in front of me and i wanted to say hi however just too shy to do so.... Then when we became friends i told you about this and it turns out that you wanted to say hi also but is also shy... hehehe... Sometimes i imagine what if we just traded our place during the time when we line up. Then i would have become Ketua dorm of P8 and you P1! Just a step to a big difference! haha.... If you ask me what i miss most about you i can say your cute personality and your laughter. It's really cute the way you always had to cover your mouth when you laugh x) Tepuk tepuk Ye Ching! ^^

9. Min Jie
The girl who always love to hug me... @.@ Haha... i kind of miss your hug now... Last time i was really afraid of your hugs cause most of the time you would hug me... to the death. O.O haha... I miss being crazy with you in dorm... Sometimes i would go over to P2 and usually you would be reading a book then when i go kacau you then when you got so annoyed you would just hug me... O.o But now i miss your hug.. :(

10. Ming Min
You're like Min Jie's sister man! You two are mostly seen together wan... :) You have a really mature personality. I think your childishness is only 1%? Lol. It has been great being in the same company with you. The Aplha girls :) Though we are in different dorms but i am so happy that we are in the same company for it had given me the privilege of working with you :)

11. Felicia
I owe you so much! I think life would be so so much harder if you were not there.... I feel so happy that you are in the same dorm with me cause if not i would be so lonely and life would be so much harder in PLKN. You are the girl with almost everything! Your locker is like Kedai runcit with all the varieties of food and stuff. If i need anything i just ask you. I still remember the time i forgotten to bring short pants and you just borrowed me a a pair without hesitation. When i told you i very paiseh have to borrow pants from you and all you say is "Nevermind lah... we're friends ma..." That really really touched me... And also thank you for the time when you borrow me your baju PT when mine got wet in the rain. I know it's a big sacrifice for you only had 2 pairs and by borrowing me 1 you had to re-wear the same one the next day. So thank you so so much for your helping hand :) You are really a great true friend! Hope we can hang out at more outings next time... :)

12. Harmony
The singer! And my sister in NS! :) I really miss your good morning wishes! You're like my so-called stalker! haha... Always peeping through my window to see me! x) We did alot of things together... Though we're like in different companies... Me in Alpha and you in Delta. But we manage to plan CF together, attend church together, lead worships together and also attend CB class together! :) Though we did not end up in a same group but at least in the same class!
It has been quite some time we haven't kept in touch cause you're not really active on Facebook... :P Means you have life! But i really miss you! When your holidays start after form 6 do give me a call so we can hang out! :)

13. Sean Yeo James
Mr. Yeo's soya bean drink! ^^ Sean sean.. I don't really know when i really met you... But i think we only became real proper friends when NS was about to end. We are actually from the same CB class! :) CB1! :) But i don't think we really knew each other for i never got the chance to be in the same group with you :P But i think we slowly know each other through our church trips and RS class :) You are a really nice friend and i had fun with you the last two outings :) Though our last outing was only 4 ppl only but so what? I look forward to more outings with you and more tours around your campus :D Hope that we could continue to keep in touch and i hope you won't get tired spamming FB :)

14. Joe Leng
Die-hard SNSD fan! I saw your yuri birthday video on youtube. Dude you are one committed/loyal fan! How i am jealous of SNSD to have fans like you! Haha.. I dun really know much about you as we dun really communicate much... D: I just know that we met in KN class and the first time i ever talk to you is because i fail as a chinese and had to go to you for help in writing Chinese characters. Then after that i only realize that you are also in christian fellowship. Somehow i feel that you write better then you talk. Or maybe is just shy? Because when i read what you wrote in my book i seem to get a clear picture of you but somehow when we talk you are so mysterious... O.O haha... Anyway.... it was good writing! i can see you really have the talent! Next time practice more Yiruma songs then can play for me! :)

15. CCY
The fun dude :) I think our gang is a whole lot funner with your presence ;) Really... you are like the fire starter... A guy who really gets the fun going! :) You are always the one to start the Happy Birthdays songs in the canteen and i think you are responsible for mine as well. So thank you for making my birthday so special. If it wasn't for you and your bravo gang to come entertain me i think my birthday would be a miserable day for me for i cannot go Sungai Besi and play with M16 :( I would never in my life thought that birthdays would be fun in NS. So tepuk tepuk terima kasih CCY! :D Hopefully the world is really as small as Elliot's muscle so i would have more chance to bump into you again next time.

16. Ket Jin
I don't worship you! Or cats... Lol... Don't be perasan la... haha... Ketket Ket jin. The always-pose-serious-face-dude. You are one funny guy. I like how you have wrote in my book. Though i was really messy but i think it's your masterpiece right? The way you syok sendiri while writing my book... x) But i like the end product. It really did made me laugh a lot... :)

17. Yang yang
The sweet little boy in NS :) He likes to play... no not like is love! ^^ Really sweet and lovable sometimes i just has the urge to hug him! I remember during my birthday you went to the koperasi to some sweets then at night in CF you actually gave each person a few sweets to throw at me after singing me happy birthday. Though it was really painful but it was really sweet of you to have planned something like that :) So in return i hope you like the card me and Min Jie made for you on the so-called last day of NS. Sorry we couldn't make it really nice cause we really had no time. But i was really happy to see you receive it with tears of joy! Or was it sadness since most of us are already leaving? But seeing you cry that day really want to make me to hug you also but i don't really want to come back for kumpulan 2 all because i hug a wira x) Next time when see you confirm will hug you! ^^

18. Elliot
It's a blessing to be tall you know? It's not a sin! Trust me! Tall guys get my attention! haha... You are one of the few first wira friends that i had. Maybe cause you're always with Joshua so i got a chance to meet you. Before i get to know you i already noticed you. One is because of your height and two is because you are scary looking. You are always in your hoddie looking like a gangster. Then after that i learn that it is not gangsterism but is emoism! Then when i get to know you better i learn that you have same kind of peaceful/ soft personality? Like a monk! Then i started to become your apprentice! ^^

19. Y. Ping
It's so sad you have to work during our mid valley outing... :P But at least we came and kacau you! Hoep you didn't get scolded by your boss or anything. Haha. I don't really know you for i only know about your existence a few days before NS ends. So i dun have much to say other than i think that you're quite sampat! haha... Lets hang out more! So we can know each other better :)

20.Zoe Teng
You're probably the very first friend i had when i step into NS. Haha. After we registered ourselfs and got our things checked we were sitting at the canteen hall. And coincidentally you sat behind me and you just turn around and say Hi. Then on that day you were wearing your Sri Permata shirt then our conversation started out easily cause of Miss Jocelyn x) Somehow i feel like it's really fated for us to meet. Cause our paths has crossed many times and we didn't even know each other until NS happened! :D So i really thank God for letting me know a friend like you! Let's go sleepover at Jo's house! :D Anytime free just call me! :3

21. Xyuun
Another girl from the bravo gang. :) Don't really know much about you but i know you always hang with kelly, amelia, esther and wai heng. However i think you're the least sampat in that gang so maybe thats why we're not that close. But nevermind! There's still chance! Next outing we must be more friend friend okay??? :)

22. Sam Soh
I don't think i really know you. Just somehow we added each other on FB. So errr.... nice to meet you? Haha... Lets hang out la! Then we can know each other better :)

23. SK
My darling SK! It's so nice to have you in P1! How we just love to bully each other and do sampat things in dorm! Haha... Every morning you are always up before me then you always have to see my super blur just wake up face cause i need to pass by your bed every morning to go toilet x) Then sometimes i would jump on you if i caught you lying on your bed! Haha... you're so comfy to sleep on... x) I miss you la... miss talking to you cause i love the way you talk! It's so different and sometimes i find it so so funny! ^^ Haven't really kept in touch with you di... But hope to see you one day! Hopefully 3rd of July! :)

24. Melvin
Meowvin!!! The first time i met you!!! In CB class! You're known as "Olang" but i accidentally reead it as Lolang and i kept calling you that name thinking it was your real name. Then at first i also thought you're orang asli or something cause you're dark skinned with name Lolang. Haha... till i heard you speak mandarin and then found out that you are actually chinese... x) MEOWVIN! haha... sorry if you really got annoyed in NS cause i keep making fun about your name but you don't seem to complain but only give me the =.=" look and smile after that... So thank you for being so nice and patient with me... :)

25. Dillon
It's funny how met... Cause i recall us insulting each other before chinese new year holidays. Haha... don't blame me you started the insulting! haha... You're also one of the first few wira friends that i made. Also one of the closest I can say :) Thank you for waiting for me in the canteen so i won't be alone at times though you have abandoned me for 465 times already and counting! x) You can be a really nice person despite of your insults! lol... okay there... i said it... i called you nice! >.< I just hope i don't regret what i had just said! Haha... but i have to admit that i really miss your insults! Lets hang out some time then continue our usual insulting routine and then maybe this time i could really throw a shoe at you! :D

26. Jingfu Wong
Actually i never really met you though we have lived through the same camp for 3 months... haha.. I just know that i was talking to Bryan on the phone on the last night of NS and then he just suddenly pass the phone to you and we just talk. Haha... It was so weird but i find it easy to talk to you even though you're like a total stranger to me... x)

27. Sean San
My ex-dance partner! Haha... Sorry if this post is going to freak you out because we hardly knew each other. But i actually stalk you in NS. you can say that i'm like you no.1# Fan. Haha... No la... is cause one day i just decided to notice the ketua dorm for wira and i kind of notice you cause of your height! You can ask Joe Lee... haha... Okay i better stop before you block me from FB! Anyway i hope we can hang out in the future! :)

28. Sean Ding
Hey dude! Have to admit that i am not that close to you but you seem like a cool guy! Haha... Eventhough i don't know you but i've heard a lot about you! In dorm x) I am sure you know that i share the same room with someone whose name initials "LMK" right? Haha... other than that don't really know much about you maybe CF we talk a bit :) But keep being cool bro! Hopefully will see you next time! with HAIR! :D

29. Bryan Raj
Dude! I miss tickling your feet! Love the reaction man! It's so epic! ahahahah! I met you in KN class :) Then only i started realizing your existence in RS class as well. Hehe... Not really close to you as well but i just know that i always see you with Miss "O" and just like to tease you.. haha... ^^ At the meantime tell your feet i miss them! :P

Okays... i think i better stop here.... Sorry if i miss out anyone.... Please forgive me cause there's so many people and only this much time for my exam is coming up... X.X

Anyway... Really hope to see you all again! Just want you all to know that i think of you guys everday and miss you guys so so much! So if there's any outing please must call me or i'll be so so sad.

with love. -pau

Sadness

There are times when i could be so happy until i forget how sadness feels like....

Until the day when Happiness finally had enough of me and decided to leave... And Sadness came along to keep me company...

Someone quoted

How would you know what Happiness is if you never experience Sadness?

But does he know that too much sadness can lead to depression?

I really don't mind going through a time of sadness... I just don't want to go as far as depression...

I just hope i have the strength to get though this...

The strength only God can provide....

College Life ;)

To many students, university life is fun. There isn’t a need to call those who teach them “teachers” anymore. They could wear their favourite clothes to school. Out with the days where mornings were filled with breakfast in school uniforms. In school there isn’t a need to seek permission to go for breaks. They could walk in and out of the lecture theaters (Yes. Places of learning are no longer called classrooms) and tutorial rooms at will. Indeed, the students have earned it, for they have grown up. But these freedoms are not here without prizes/prices. Prizes take the form of acquiring new knowledge; prices, in the form of examination failures.

Lecturers tend to be relaxed in lecturing the students. They do not spoon-feed anymore, i.e. the lecture notes are getting shorter and shorter. Lecturers tend to joke more in class, giving anecdotes and analogies from real life, mainly from their own experiences in the industries they operate in. Their wealth of experience is filled with funny and interesting stories. Students who take notes and analyse what the lecturers say will acquire new knowledge, not just because they have gotten everything the lecturer has said in the lecture, or having taken all the notes he/she has given, both orally or otherwise. They have understood the context and the framing of the lecture, the key words, the themes, the points the lecturer is driving at, not to mention to have thoroughly analyse what he/she has said in the lecture. It likens to the process of taking in and remembering the story, plot, and the situations characters in the film are in while enjoying them on the big screen.

But as we all know, life is not a bed of roses. Too much play comes with a price. What’s “too much play” in university life? The biggest culprit is complacency and procrastination. Examination is always seen as something far, far away in a semester. “We have just started, we can take our time”, a usual line heard in the university cafeteria. In addition, with really funny and entertaining lecturers, lectures seem fun. Enjoying it like a TV sitcom and movie, ready to be forgotten the very next day, will result in students not knowing what the lecturer is driving at. Students will not be able to grab the essence within lecturers’ stories. When examination comes, students will feel that they have been left behind in the wilderness, not knowing what to study for. At that moment, they would realise that preparing personal examination notes is part and parcel of university life. Looking at other people mugging examinations with something in front of them, comparing to his/her own lack of direction in examination preparation, a student will tend to resign to fate and let their maker decide the outcome of their examination.

Freedom is seductive in nature. But too much of it will result in one losing his/her way, especially when one’s body becomes idle, not knowing that freedom is in fact creativity. Students should exercise the creative freedom given by the university and its lecturers to formulate their own unique ways of studying and learning, not to mention preparing for examination at the end of the semester. In addition, students should also exercise creativity in sharing notes with fellow students, not blindly copying notes from each other. Students should engage in meaningful discussions with their fellow friends, taking the lecturer’s notes in many different directions, making the lecture more alive than ever. In this way, essays and examination answers will be rich, laced with different interesting perspectives.

Lastly, students should also keep their lecturers close to their hearts, for they are ones who will captain the ship they are on. They should often engage their lecturers in active discussion and challenge them to new ideas and perspectives. Most importantly, it allows lecturers to understand and chart the learning paths of his/her students.

Chua .R., (2011) In Facebook [Group page]
Retrieved May 9,2011 from http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_212228588805345&view=doc&id=213439595350911

When birds get angry...

Do birds really get "angry"? Is it even possible?

:/


Unlike those complicated games with amazing graphics and effects which professional game designers spend years and years to specially design and create the ultimate game of the century which would get gamers anxious enough to play. "Angry Birds" is just a simple 2-D game with a bunch of angry looking birds, a slingshot and some green pigs on buildings made out of wood, glass and other materials.
Instruction of the game- Use slingshot to toss birds at pigs and eliminate the pigs.
A game as simple as that. Somehow i have a feeling that the person who created this game probably came out of nowhere and out of the blues just say something like "Hey! lets create an iphone app with birds and pigs and to create more action lets add a slingshot in it! :D "
Then "poof!" Angry Birds exist! And in months it has became one of the top downloaded iphone app.



The game had became so popular i see the angry birds all around shopping malls and even in movies... D:




It even got the National Geographic interested!

Alright... My post ends here but i have posted some interesting Angry Birds videos so do enjoy yourself! :)

How music works....

I am not really sure but it really soothes my soul...

Here's an acoustic version of ET- Katy Perry which i think it's fantastic :)

Another acoustic version of Born this way by lady gaga. :)

A spoonful of confidence

That is what i really need. One thing i really had to improve on myself but the only problem is i don't know where my confidence went nowadays...

There are times where i dare to do things that i didn't think i could do.
Joining a public speaking competition is one thing I am proud of though it was many years ago but until today i still couldn't believe that i did it.
You would probably think "no big deal... it is just speaking to a crowd of people..." But to me it is really an accomplishment and i am really proud of it and i do not care what you think.

Well that was during high school years.

Now I am in a new chapter of life, college. To me it is a really big change and even till now i just can't get used to it and due to that i don't really enjoy attending college.

It is probably lack of confidence.
Maybe i just have to try harder to believe in myself.

But there is one question. What if i am not the person who i believe to be? I will probably only end up embarrassing myself being a kitten who tried to roar and due to the embarrassment i will end up getting a depression and due to the depression i will probably. . .

Well, what happens next should be predictable...

There's also another thing that could kill you and that is
OVERCONFIDENCE

Life is difficult..... D:

Lord help me!!!

Doubts and Second thoughts...

Bad day in college...

Well, not that bad actually but i came home upset...

Haiz... Let's put that aside...

I have been thinking lately of whether I've made the right choice. Whether the college that I am currently studying in is the right one and whether I have chosen the right course because i wake up everyday and i do not look forward to college at all. And to tell yo u the truth i don't really enjoy the classes too...


So in conclusion I DON'T LIKE COLLEGE LIFE!!!!
-yet, i hope.

Another reason for not liking college could be because of PLKN...
I just had the most wonderful/best time there... Not to mention the people and the friends i made there... They are just a bunch of crazy ordinary people whom i am so proud to call them my friends :)

The awesome wiras and wirawatis...

Miss you guys so so much...

After spending three months at NS i am just so used to the life there i guess maybe i just have to adjust to college life right now and hope that one day i would like it.



Sorry for the emo post....

The Reopening! :)

Okay Im reviving my blog!!! No wait...Is "Okay, I am reviving my blog..."
Lol... i mean... Laughing Out Loud! I need to get used to this >.<

It has been awhile since I have updated my blog. Just a little notice that my blog will be different from now onwards for i will be using proper English for the sake of college (I am currently studying diploma in mass communications: which requires me to write a lot!) and also for the sake of my English. So there will be no more "lah" or "Manglish" (Mandarin mixed English). Yes... I know that it won't be as interesting as last time for you can no longer laugh at my weird/wrong English anymore but I promise to make the content interesting for the sake of my loyal readers. (That is if i still had any...)

Alright, i think i shall end here for today for there's is not much to say about my blog's reopening...

PS: Please leave a comment- especially about my English and my writing. If there are any mistakes do correct me! :)